This week, Chiamaka takes a peep at BDSM, more specifically Bondage, the different aspects of it and how pleasure can be maximized in this type of sexual interaction.
Bondage, specifically in reference to kink life, is simply the act of placing another person in restraints for sexual pleasure. Typically, the person in bondage will be unable to get out or free themselves of these restraints without the help of their top, the dominant party in the interaction, who got them there in the first place. Often, cuffs are the go-to option for many people who engage in this form of sexual interaction. While cuffs are one of the most easily accessible forms of bondage, many other kinds of restraints exist and can aid with the task. There are rope ties, leg cuffs, spreader bars and neck chains that connect to the hands or feet. For the many who might not have access to any of this, a simple scarf or even a tie could do the job.
As a person who sometimes enjoys bondage, I’ve found that the most enjoyable part of it all is the helplessness. Picture a movie scene where the protagonist is held captive, restrained with either a chain, cuffs, duck tape or anything else, fearing for their lives or the unknown. That is exactly what bondage feels like but in a completely safe, controlled and orgasm-inducing way. For naturally domineering people, who might sometimes have trouble releasing control during sex, this is a great way to practice and worry less about insecurities, especially if the other party is perfectly okay with this type of engagement. Bondage is also a great way to keep the restrained partner on the edge and fully interested throughout the session. A slight tug on the leg cuffs while the restrained partner begs while receiving penetration is an extreme turn-on.
To keep this type of sexual interaction safe and sane, many people who engage in it come up with a safeword for when things are getting a little too much or too aggressive. Generally, a safeword is a pre-agreed word or signal that instantly puts an end to BDSM. It’s usually used to maximize pleasure without getting hurt. The word or signal could be anything, as long as there was an express understanding between both parties that the word or signal stops whatever might be going on. However, it’s discouraged to use the word “Stop” as a safe word because people tend to use it playfully and it could cause a little confusion between both parties.
While bondage might be a fun way to spice things up in your sex life, I will not advise it to be done very carelessly, no matter the kind of person you are and the strengths you may possess. Not everybody will be suitable to be a good top, which is why many people that might want to engage in this form of sexual interaction, especially bottoms, are always very careful. I will also not recommend bondage to someone who is extremely triggered by being held down as a result of former abuse. It is even more pertinent where said person is also unable to use the safeword before they break down or have a panic attack.
Naturally, I will advise that only people who have had an extended sexual relationship indulge in bondage and even in that instance, a proper conversation must be had and both parties must be well prepared in the event of a bad outcome. Communication is very key when engaging in this type of sexual interaction. A lot of kinks or sexual practices contain risks to an extent and it is hard to deprive yourself of a certain enjoyment simply because of a past event. In fact, it could be empowering for the person who is triggered to dabble in it for themselves. This is however a decision that should be completely made by the person affected and they must be given appropriate attention and care before and after the process.
