This week, Chiamaka takes a brief look at different kinds of fetishes and she also makes an important distinction between them and kinks.
Technically, fetishes can be defined as a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. It is an object or bodily part whose presence is sometimes psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and is the subject of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression if not present. Contrary to popular belief, fetishes are not always associated with traditional definitions of sex.
However, the most common or widely known fetish is podophilia, popularly known as the foot fetish. For people who are attracted to feet, the point of attraction might include the size of feet, toenails, soles, feet jewellery etc. There’s also always a propensity to give foot rubs, massages, and painting toenails amongst other things. Many people who have foot fetishes love to pay great attention to feet while engaging in any form of sexual interaction. For heterosexual men who have foot fetishes, they sometimes lubricate their partners' feet, using it as like a fleshlight to reach completion. Some others may engage with the foot orally, preferring to have their partner’s toes in their mouth while pleasuring themselves in other ways.
Several other fetishes exist ー like Scat play, Golden showers, Trichophiliacs (long hair fetish), Abasiophiliacs (orthopaedic appliances fetish), Hobophilia (homeless people fetish), and Axillism (armpit fetish) ー that many might consider ridiculous or even unacceptable. As a result, many people hide their fetishes or are rarely vocal about them. People should generally not be ashamed about their various fetishes. I personally would not judge anyone’s fetishes as long as it does not involve minors nor hurt the people who might possess the object of their desire. Fetishes could be a great way to aid and spice your sex life and it does not always have to be associated with sexual deviancy.
It is important to note that fetishes are not kinks. Kinks are typically fun additions that people like to include in sexual activity. Think sadomasochism, domination and submission, erotic roleplaying and the likes. Those are kinks. Fetishes are however different. People who enjoy kinks do not need to include them every single time they engage in sexual activity. However, people who have fetishes enjoy their fetishes even without the addition of traditional sexual activity. And if there is no inclusion of their fetish, it is near impossible that they will enjoy the sexual interaction or participate at all. People with fetishes tend to be more involved overall with sex and their obsession. For example, furries ー people who dress up as furry animals and enjoy it as a sexual or cosplay activity. Kinksters might consider such behaviour abnormal, as they would not be able to envision being in full costume just to feel stimulated to any extent.
Personally, I have no fetishes. I can enjoy traditional, vanilla sex. The addition of different kinks poses an enjoyable addition for me and definitely makes me feel more connected to whichever partner I might be with at the time. This connection might be what inspires the desires between fetishists and their participants. The excitement, fun and understanding that occurs among people who share similar interests is definitely a plus when it comes to sexual activity.