This week, Chiamaka give useful tips and suggestions on how to navigate a fly-out experience for both parties involved.
Summer time is believed to be the prime season for being flown out. For those of us who have not experienced the lure of a person who lives in another state or country hopping in our direct messages, exchanging texts then being offered a flight, this phenomenon seems almost unreal. It can be because we are not conventionally attractive enough to receive such an offer or because we are not privileged enough to offer another person said experience. Either way, the discussion is fun to engage in from the outside, especially when a recipient of a fly out offer has a bad experience and runs to the Internet to ‘spill the tea’. It is more mind boggling to note that fly out experiences essentially became mainstream when non-sex workers started to engage in them.
This does not mean people who were not into sex work had not been flown out before, but the ultimate experience of a near stranger making the offer was not popular. Usually, it was people in long distance relationships who would make the offers to their steady partners to come see them. With the rise of the mainstream stranger experience, we see that people like athletes, rappers and other men with money are now more than ever inviting girls who they are attracted to on the internet a chance to come and link them up in person. Regular people with the means have also played into the game, basically by seeing a person who they like on the Internet and expecting them to come spend a few days in their city. While flying out can be romantic and fun, there is a core reason as to why sex workers and their clients who sign up for these types of experiences set terms and expectations even before the flight is booked.
A common mistake that we can see made in the civilian world is that both parties leave everything up to the expectations and impulsively decide they would indulge in a fly out. For the person being flown out, it is important to take safety precautions on your end. Ensure that the flights are booked in your name and you have full access to the round-trip tickets. Getting on a one-way flight is a disaster waiting to happen and often what orchestrates the arguments we see on social media after the fact. In the case of the person buying the tickets, make your intentions very clear prior. If you have expressed your needs and you are unsure as to whether the person will follow through in all capacity, make peace with the different ways in which the scenario might go. If you’re spending an outrageous amount, one that is not within your means, you are better off linking someone who lives in your state or continuing to discuss with your person of interest from miles away till you are financially capable for such risk.
To be clear, the celebrities and athletes we see flying people out only occasionally get exposed when they have average, normal people come through. Their link-ups with sex workers, or Instagram models who are very much into the lifestyle rarely ever become public. Another tip for ensuring that both parties have a good time during a fly-out is seeking out a like-minded person, who shares similar interests. That way, there is some connection and you both have subjects to bond on. Majority of fly-outs are purely for sex purposes. If you are someone who does not enjoy having sex with a person who may not be so familiar, fly-outs are absolutely not for you. It is important to be honest with yourself and understand that not all cravings are there to be fulfilled. No one expects another person to travel to see them without some form of physical intimacy. If you are open to such, but then you get there and the vibe is just not vibin’, express this to your partner directly. Do not try to dilly-dally your way into not having sex with them but also getting shown around town on their dime and time. You will have much more fun and peace of mind doing things on your own or meeting up with a friend in that city. If you do have plans to see other people from the get-go, also let the person who will be flying you out know. This is especially true if they are also booking you a room, which should be booked in your name as well. It is super advisable to arrange accommodation that will not be in that person’s house, in order to give both parties comfort, a sense of boundaries and also a safe space if things do not go as planned. Having a separate hotel room is also helpful if you will be hosting friend’s asides them.
While I will not advise anyone to pursue romantic interests outside of the person who is flying them out, these things do occur. It is important to weigh your self-interest, personal safety and purchasing power while making the decision of traveling to meet another person. No level of familiarity over the phone could ever really compare to meeting up in person. Be smart, inform family and people in your hometown of your whereabouts, trip details and planned locations. You can also share your location to a trusted friend’s phone so they may see where you are at all times. Send pictures of the person who you are going to meet to interested parties. In turn, the person initiating the flying out may also send pictures of their guest to family for safety measures.