She Takes A Peep: Group sex (Orgies)

This week, Chiamaka takes a look at group sex, the general misconceptions and its dangers.

Just recently, a friend and I were discussing the dynamics of sex with multiple people at the same time. What makes the idea so thrilling? It might be the fact that it is generally ‘forbidden’ and does not happen often, at least for the average person. Another factor is that the average person, more often than not, does not know several people who would be willing to have sex with them at once or at least have sex in the presence of a bunch of other folks.

Most people have fantasies about going to a party where a spur of the moment turns into a random orgy in a matter of minutes or even seconds. In reality, the majority of group sex does not happen like that. In my experience and perhaps in most cases, it is well-planned out, at least in this climate but this doesn’t mean it cannot happen between complete strangers. Usually, the people involved only have access to each other’s STI testing records. There is usually no exchange of names or any other important information. Sex parties or orgies usually have a designated planner who puts everything together and would then reach out to interested parties. The majority of these orgies are often treated as secret societies because there are some fears about opening them to the general society.

Another factor is that many of these parties do not open to single males. They are mostly open to couples and single women. A man who wishes to take part in such an orgy would have to find a willing partner before being allowed into the group. Not everyone in the orgy has to have sexual activity with all others. Many people simply watch or participate with the partners they came with. Oftentimes, there is fun in being watched as well.

The truth is that group sex between strangers can be quite freeing to say the least. There is safety in anonymity, especially for people who might have something to lose from engaging in ‘meaningless’ casual sex. There is also some form of safety for people who are married or otherwise engaged but would like to explore something different outside their relationship. It is easier to get that when you do not feel like these people could interrupt or gain entrance into your personal lives. Anything outside that could easily feel like an affair on one partner’s end or fears that the other person involved might over-step.

This does not negate group sex with people you know personally, just that it comes with more complications than the aforementioned. People who know each other are likely to have more of an emotional reaction if they suspect their partner is still being involved with one of the participants, but without their knowledge. Often, friendships can turn sour because the trust cannot be built back after such activities. It is important to carefully examine your relationship before participating in an orgy with your partner or simply indulge in these activities in your single years.