This week, Chiamaka takes a look at prostate stimulation and why men seem to detest it so much.
Personally, analingus isn’t something I enjoy doing, especially with men. But I’m never really one to speak against people’s sexual desires or preferences, but I have noticed that for years now, heterosexual men shy away or even detest the idea of anal stimulation in any form. While in truth, a lot more men are open to the pleasures received from rimming, the ideals towards anal fingering have remained somewhat stagnant for the most part.
A lot of men deny the existence or better put, the function of their prostate outright, a scientific and pleasure-based organ. The prostate gland is a gland in the male reproductive system. It surrounds the part of the urethra (the tube that empties the bladder). It is located just below the bladder and produces a fluid that forms part of the semen. When stimulated, the prostate gives sensations akin to an orgasm, which is why it is colloquially referred to as the male g-spot.
When the prostate is stimulated with fingers, usually paired with oral sex (fellatio) the receiver often compares this to the feeling of being ‘milked’. The orgasm achieved from both can be overwhelming, much like squirting is for women with vulvas. The receiver will often release a good amount of semen and may still experience several aftershocks a while after the orgasm has been achieved. The prostate can also be stimulated from outside, with the mouth. There is a line of skin between the balls and the asshole, commonly referred to as the gooch. When licked, the perineum (gooch) also stimulates the prostate externally. However, internal stimulation will forever reign supreme.
Now, it is common knowledge that a lot of heterosexual men detest having their prostate stimulated. Why is this? The simple answer can really be homophobia. As a result of preconceived notions about gay sex, the links between enjoying being penetrated and seeming ‘weak’, a lot of men are turned off by the idea that they should have their prostates stimulated internally. A lot of men are even turned off by conversations surrounding being penetrated, whether it be by a finger or a toy, simply becomes it makes them feel less than a man. While the reasons for this might be a cocktail of several things, deep-rooted homophobia is most definitely in the mix a lot of the time.
A few men have also expressed concerns that if they let their female partner internally stimulate the prostate, there is a chance they could become hooked and as a result, crave even larger objects in their assholes. Once again, the concern is that it could ‘escalate’ to “over-exploring” as if sexuality is a disease that is airborne and can be easily caught.
Personally, I believe sexuality is innate. Liking your prostate stimulated does not in any manner indicate innate desires of being penetrated by a man. Also, while men are allowed to have their personal sexual preferences, and they can very much choose not to indulge in anal play, it does not mean that you have the right to shame other men who choose to. It is also not right to shame your female partners if they express interest in engaging in such play with you. People have various sexual preferences, whatever they might be, and no one should be shamed for it.