Promiscuity as a bisexual trait is erroneous because disloyalty is not beholden to any particular sexuality.
The recent Lesbian Visibility Day had me reflecting a lot on biphobia. The phenomenon is not something that is unique to their community, the lesbian community that is. It encompasses all other sexualities under the queer umbrella. Biphobia exists as a result of the many misconceptions people have about the foundation of bisexuality, which is feeling sexual attraction to both (or more) sexes. As a result of transinclusion, bisexuality engages gender without the binaries that formerly existed around it. Also, the inclusion of pansexuality which is sexual attraction regardless of a person’s gender has now added another form of sexuality under the queer umbrella. Of course, there are other sexualities that exist outside the two mentioned, but it is important to cite these as unique because of the singular misunderstandings and prejudices that affect them.
Before I go further in this article, I would like to denounce the belief that being bisexual automatically makes a person a cheat. I remember when I would interact with a lesbian and she would spout biphobia casually. When I gently corrected her, she would argue back that it was impossible for a person who experienced attraction to different genders to be completely faithful in relationships. Since she had been cheated on while in a relationship with a bisexual woman, she felt that it was right to conclude that all bisexual people would behave this same way.
Many lesbians also have sexual or romantic relationships with men prior to or after coming out. This does not naturally mean that these women long for men outside of their core relationships with other women. In the case of my friend, and going by her logic, should I automatically distrust her loyalty because it is evident that she has had sexual interactions?. It is also baffling that in queer communities, misogyny still makes women feel lesser for having sexual relationships with men. While I would admit that being attracted to men sometimes constitutes something near non-objectiveness for your own greater good, it does not mean that the person is inherently lesser than.
Promiscuity as a bisexual trait is erroneous because disloyalty is not beholden to any particular sexuality. A cheat and a liar is a cheat and a liar despite their sexuality. What makes a bisexual person cheat in a monogamous relationship (with either sex) is not the fact that they are bisexual. It is the fact that they would rather do wrong to their partner rather than express their feelings. Dealing with biphobia in a community that is supposed to be my safe space hurts more than queerphobia from people who are heterosexual. Thankfully, more people are becoming aware of how often harm occurs within the community and how to combat it.
